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Lost...

...still...

The Fuselage - A Lost RPG

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February 4th, 2005

Another day on this stupid stupid island. I am telling you something is going on here with Locke and Boon running around like they are conjoined at the hip, disappearing saying they are going hunting but coming back with nothing... Odd.

That Walt kid is also giving me the creeps just something in his eyes that is troubling me tho I would never say anything, because he seems sweet just something off about him, but then maybe its just the fact that the boys mum died and now he is trapped here on the island, poor kid lost his dog again too, o well I am sure Vincent will be back soon enough.

Also Walts dad Mike seems to be building a raft of some sorts to try and get off the island dont know how well that will play out tho, building a raft out of spare parts and wreckage might not be the brightest idea, but he did say he was a construction worker my in the real world.

Oh and what the fuck is up with all the polar bears jesus christ.

Still worried about Claire I hope she is okay where ever she is...

I also hope she doesnt find out I read her journal...

January 28th, 2005

Its raining again, not as bad as the first time we got hit by a storm. I have been thinking a lot about the crash and island and all that lovely stuff *sarcasm*. Maybe its not such a bad thing I am here, I mean I am getting clean and meeting new people, Liam always said I should get away from the drugged out loser and get clean, tho I dont think he wanted it to happen this way. Perhaps all is not lost as they say everything happens for a reason, maybe I can patch my life together when we get off this island. I dont know, all I know is I am here and things are becoming clearer and clearer everyday I am off that shit, the more I look back on it the more I see how fucked up of a person I was when I was using. I think I am going to try and sleep now or maybe go for a walk on the beach.

January 22nd, 2005

I really did try not to do it, I didn't want to do it... I shouldnt have done it but I did it any way... I just had to know. I am sure you have all had to know something, it was there I was there, I tried so hard not to look I really did... I didn't want to look, well yeah I did. So I read it I read Claires Diary... I feel like an ass, I just had to know what she thought about me, now I do and I feel better knowing she didn't I mean doesn't think I am some lost little puppy or whiny vh1 reject.

But it makes me feel even worse that she is not back, and that no one is trying to find her. I mean locke goes off to look for the boys dog but does he go look for Clair he says he does but I didn't know you figure they would have found some lead or some broken twig or something, I am worried about her and her baby. Some where in the back of my mind I know she is alive, I dont know if she is okay but I know she is alive.

In other news I want a cigarette I want a smoke so bad its killing me, I think if I had smokes the with drawl would be easier a lot easier, but you know since I quit that shit, I am starting to feel a lot better, to bad I'm stuck on this island. I wonder what liam would say about his baby brother now, I wonder if they even know we are gone you figure they would have been looking for us... I wonder if any one even cares.

I ponder whats going on in the real world?

January 19th, 2005

Cant sleep, haven't been able to sleep since I tossed my stash in the fire. I have been hot the cold then some odd combination of the two.How is it that one can be HOT and Freezing at the same god damn time. What the fuck was I think trying to come clean in this hell hole. Not much I can do now I suppose except live with it. But I don't want to live with it I want to die of god do I want to die... At lest the vomiting has stopped, and people have stopped asking Charlie are you okay? I say yes even tho I really want to scream NO! NO! NO! I am not okay... I am going thru withdrawal, nearly killed by a psychopath who was not even on the plane...*weird* and Claire is missing, and nobody is even trying to find her... To think all I wanted to do was get drive shaft back together and go to LA PSH some fucking rock god I am.
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